It happens to everyone eventually – something deeply rattles your confidence. You lose a job, mess up at work, receive tough feedback, or are otherwise set back on your heels. If it’s bad enough, then your very vision of yourself gets cracked, and you can even begin to wonder what your strengths really are.
Given the importance of confidence, if we lose it, how then can we get it back?
Authors Smith and Marcum write: “Why do people with deep, distinct strengths, unfaltering motivation, and who dedicate themselves tirelessly to reaching their potential, fall short of their own expectations? In a word, confidence.”
I was looking outside of the window. Langit mendung today, semendung hati aku. Hahahaha. Well, fortunately there was no train that time, kalau tak memang beratur sepanjang panjang jalan besar tu untuk masuk ke dalam bandar Tanah Merah. Was I expecting too much from my result? No, hell no. I knew I did bad in my MEQ. I score too low for that questions part. Why I felt so frustrated? I kept thinking why I deserve that kind of grade. I got C. 58%. Another 2% to get B. If I score 2% in that MEQ part, I might got B for my surgical posting. I was so sad, because it was my favourite posting. I did well in my long cases, practical of course. I didn't score for my theories part. I'm such a fool. Lacking in theories part as always. C is for those people who can't balance between theories and practicals. B is for someone who can balance, and A.. maybe that someone have extra somewhere.
Was it because people put high hopes on me. Telling me how good I am at studying, and then BOOM! I just couldn't meet their expectations. I feel worst. I don't know why. Nina comforts me, saying it's okay. This is our first posting. Keep up the good work. Try to balance both theories and practical. My confident drop to the lowest level it can be. (sigh)
And now, our current posting quite tough. We're dealing with kids and had to become smart enough to tackle the patient's interest. We are in paediatric posting, but it's the same as taking internal medicine except it is for children, little adults they said. hmm. I hope this posting lights my path and I could gain my confident level back, In Shaa Allah :)
You can try google up how to boost your confident level back. This might help : How To Build Self Confidence
This was from Forbes
So how do we boost our confidence when we need it most? Here are a few strategies:
1. Even when it’s hard, keep taking risks.
When we feel that we’ve failed, we often want to take ourselves out of the game, lick our wounds, and avoid risk. That’s the worst thing we can do.
Inaction keeps us mired in the space of loss. It’s only action which can create success and, in turn, confidence.
2. Give yourself some small wins.
There’s no doubt that success breeds confidence, but it doesn’t have to be a huge one to help you build your confidence back.
Put yourself in a position to do incremental activities that capitalize on your strengths. Repeated, small wins can slowly bring you back to appreciating your talents.
3. Get perspective with a dose of appreciation.
If a failure is particularly stinging, it can overtake our thoughts and quickly get blown out of proportion. Find a way to take a step back and put it in the larger picture. Did you lose a promotion? Consider how many successes you’ve had to get to the place you are today. One promotion lost in a career is not a dead end.
Seek out friends and colleagues who appreciate what you do. If you can share the failure in a safe environment, you can gain the viewpoint that others have of you. We are always our harshest critics.
4. Stop comparing yourself to others.
One of the reasons that failure hurts is that we are concerned about what others will think of us. Rationally we may know that it doesn’t matter, but you just have to look at Facebook behavior to see how comparative we all are.
If your failure results in someone else’s success, try not to make it a zero sum game. Your losing a promotion now doesn’t mean you won’t get one later. Come from a place of abundance – there are more opportunities if this one didn’t go your way.
5. Try to find the hidden gem of learning.
No one can be perfect all of the time, and we all fail. When we do, if we can dig deep and see the failure as a chance to learn, we can use it to our advantage. If we can reframe, we may even find a positive message lying hidden inside.
It really is all about the journey. Failure teaches us the most lasting lessons. We get stronger. We learn more about ourselves. We gain perspective. And we go on.
When you do overcome your failures, remember to not hide them. Showing vulnerability can actually make you more influential and inspiring to others. We are drawn to those who have failed and gone on to success. It’s what makes you human…and just like the rest of us.
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